The Lovers, The Dreamers, and Me.

It’s past my bed time and we all know what happens when it gets late; I start thinking and get sad. Tonight, like many other nights before this one, I am sad about a lost friend.This is nothing new, and happened quite a while ago, but some events, such as losing a friend, don’t tend to go away so easily. I’ve considered writing you a few times, but as this is 2013, no one writes those anymore. I wouldn’t begin to know how to get your address either. Anyway, after debating sending you an email, of impersonal Facebook message, I decided to post my rant on here. I have no followers that know me personally except you. I guess I’m choosing to do this here because I know there is an off chance that you will see it. If not, then at least this will be off my chest. I don’t know how or why our friendship ended, but I have been grieving over it ever since. It had ended many times, never forever, and usually my fault. I’m very sorry for that. I want you to know that even though it seemed I was neglecting our friendship, you always meant the world to me. I always came crawling back, and you always accepted me. Though this time was different. You left me (so I felt). You got a new job, and new friends, and I got a boyfriend. A recipe for disaster in any teenage girl friendship. One day you stopped walking with me to class and I was sad. I felt deserted and alone. We barely spoke for the rest of the year. I recently went on your tumblr and was happy to not find any negative posts about me, but also sad that there were no positive ones either. I always viewed you as a major part of my life. My best friend, the moon to my sun. I hate that we aren’t friends. A few texts (from me to you usually) hardly counts as keeping in touch. This year was extremely rough on me. I needed to be able to pick up the phone and blab about my day with you. To play silly games until 2 am. I needed my long lost sister with me. But I never had her. I only saw how happy you were; how happy you were without me, and still are. Anyway, I have my friends, and you have your’s, and that’s the way things are now. You’ve changed, and maybe I have too. I know things will never be the same again, but I want you to know I’ve noticed your absence. You mean a whole lot to people, and I’ll always love you. Stay golden.